January 24, 2022
It’s been ten years since I didn’t get to say goodbye to my dad. It took nearly all of that ten years for me to be able to think about him and the tragic way we lost him without tearing up or crying. But, in the last year or two, it seems that my grief has finally healed. I will always miss him, but I’m grateful that I can now remember him with appreciation and gratitude instead of sadness and grief. That, in itself, is one of the biggest victories for me.
Ten years ago, I was drowning in a black pit of despair and depression, and today, I live in the light of hope and possibilities. If you’re swimming through grief, please know that you will heal.
Time is incredible for that, but it can take a lot of it. In this past decade, I feel like I’ve lived an entire lifetime. Probably because I’ve done more living than I did in the entire 29 years prior.
Because that horrible tragedy woke me up. That fifteen-car pile-up jerked me out of my known everyday existence and made me realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I don’t know why I didn’t realize that before. Probably because I’d never had it shown to me so personally and tangibly. Also, in this last decade, I wasn’t living only for me. I wasn’t only concerned with making my dreams come true. At some point along the way, I consciously made a decision that I was also going to live out as many of my dad’s big dreams as I possibly could.
He always wanted to live on the beach in the tropics… so I did.
He always wanted to visit the Porsche museum and factory in Stuttgart… so I did.
He always wanted to have as much freedom as possible… so I do.
By allowing my dad to live on through me, it helped. It also gave me purpose. It gave me drive and motivation to do things that other people might never think of doing.
I still have a lot on my list and a few things from his that I hope to experience, but all-in-all, I think my dad would be incredibly proud of how I turned the tragedy of his death into fuel to fire the most brilliant, incredible, and magical life I could possibly imagine.
Here’s to the best ten years of my life, even though the most important man from the first 29 didn’t get to see me live them.
Don’t take tomorrow for granted. Live life to the fullest. None of us know when our ticket will be punched and we’ll be destined for the next stage in our existence. I choose to embrace the possibilities and opportunities and make the most of this life I’ve been blessed to live. I hope you are too.