All of my dreams came true. I mean, for real, like all of them. I’m probably one of the very few people in your circle who can say that. I shot for the moon, and I was blessed beyond my wildest dreams with a life better than any fantasy I could ever have conjured up on my own.
I lived through that. That is my personal lived experience this lifetime.
So, of course, when I started being drawn to reading about metaphysics and everything related to the world around me that I cannot see, I learned about manifesting. Then, I started mentally going back over my life to figure out how I got these insanely amazing results before and I mentally combed through my past thoughts, behaviors, actions, and consciousness to build myself some kind of model I could replicate to do it again.
Then, I started trying to intentionally manifest the future that I wanted. I picked stuff out. Decided how things should go. Then I started trying to make it true with my mind and my emotions.
It didn’t work.
I was devastated. I had figured it out. I had the secrets. I’d done it before. Why wasn’t it working? Why was everything going seemingly so wrong?
Then life got a bit nuts, and I just started living again. I got out of my head and into my body and started living by following my heart once more.
Of course, as it always does, the Universe taught me an incredible lesson along the way—one it had given me major proof of in the past so I could have absolute faith in the future: I do not always know what is the best thing for me or the best outcome or situation in my life.
I realized how happy I was that the things I wanted to have work out, didn’t work out. I was so grateful that they didn’t work out. Because they wouldn’t have been right for me.
And then I started thinking about all the amazing things that had worked out for me, without me getting in the way of them or trying to make them happen.
Take my beautiful puppy Portia, for instance. I hadn’t been ready for another dog until someone randomly offered us a new Chinese Crested puppy. We didn’t want a boy, so we said no, but then the owner offered us the momma dog, Motley Sue. She was the homeliest thing I’d ever seen, and I said, “Absolutely. We’d love to meet her. When can we come?”
During the process, the owner changed her mind and the deal for us to bring home Motley Sue fell through. Two days later, we found Portia and I knew she was the one. She’s a soul dog for us both. Perfect for us in every way. And, she’s literally one of the most beautiful dogs on the freaking planet. She’s just stunning. Portia with the Good Hair is just one of her many nicknames, along with the Sweetest Puppy in the Entire World.
But I was willing to settle for Motley Sue. I had said yes to Motley Sue. And the Universe said, “She’s not the one for you,” and crumbled the entire deal before it could happen.
And man, oh man, you should see the tattooed guy I picked out as someone in my league before the Universe sent me the major insanely crazy upgrade who is my beautiful beloved husband Jake. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I can’t help but laugh at what I was willing to settle for in comparison to what became my reality. 😂 The joke was certainly on me, and I’m TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT.
This is why I don’t try to manifest anymore. I’ve finally accepted the truth: I don’t know what’s best for me. Even I don’t have a grand enough vision of what is worthy of me and my beautiful heart. I have no idea what’s even possible, even though I dream really, really big. And every single time, I have been willing to settle for less, and the Universe says, “NO WAY, GIRL. I’ve got something special up my sleeve for you.”
Why would I want to get in the way of that? I don’t know what’s perfect for my future, but the Universe does. I don’t know when the perfect timing is for something to happen, but the Universe does. I don’t know what will fulfill me so much that I am deliriously in love with life every second of the day, but the Universe does. I don’t know how to make any of these wildly big secret dreams in my heart come true, but the Universe does. It’s shown me that over and over again. How could I not trust it completely now?
I’ve let go of needing to control how things happen. I’ve let go of needing to know what’s going to happen. I’ve let go of trying to figure it out and make things happen. It’s none of my business. Every time that things have turned out the most amazing for me, it had nothing to do with me controlling, knowing, or orchestrating it. I couldn’t have created these amazing outcomes and this incredible life that I get to live. I didn’t do it by myself. Not once. Never. I just did my part, and the Universe took care of me. It always takes care of me.
I’m taking my hands off the wheel, and focusing on doing my part and being who I am. I don’t need to know what’s coming or how it’s going to happen or control any bit of it. I’m letting the Universe work its masterful magic for me, in purely unexpected ways with divine timing, while I sit with my mouth gaping open with tears of joy and gratitude streaming down my face, shaking with laughter, as I watch life unfold in a perfectly beautiful, utterly incredible, dance of mystery and awe-inspiring magic.
After all, I’ve watched it happen before with my own two eyes. Why would I ever get in its way again? I’ve learned my lesson. I’m getting back to work. Universe, the ball is in your court.